Twisting

Jesus knows me, this I love.

I read that and shook my head. This dyslexia is enough to drive me crazy. So I blinked and looked at the line again.

Jesus knows me, this I love.

I'd read it again and laughed. Clearly, I'd gotten that twisted version stuck in my mind, so I echoed the mistake again. Sorta like the tongue twister of trying to say "Unique New York" three times really fast--after the first flub, you keep making the same mistake over and over again.


Jesus knows me, this I love.
Wow. I read it right. But the words sent me reeling.




Jesus loves me, this I know..... those words have always resounded.
I love Jesus, does He know? .... that version or verse came later in life, and I embraced it.
 -----BUT-----
Jesus knows me, this I love?

      Part of me rejoices in that.
Part of me didn't.  (Hey- I'm being honest.)
          The truth of the first phrase is fact. God is omniscient. Of course He knows me.
   But do I *LOVE* it?
      Hmmmm. I love that He cares so much, He counts the numbers of hair on my head, knew me in my mother's womb, and even keeps track of when I rise up and when I go to bed. He who created the lilies of the field in all their glory counts me infinitely more precious.
YEAH.... that I love.

If only it were all that easy.

     But it isn't. Echoes of the past also elicit a knee-jerk negative reaction.

         When I was young,(Yes, I was young once upon a time) my sainted mother would get angry (Believe it or not.) She'd accuse me of something and state, "I know you better than you know yourself." It raised my hackles.
Then, too, I grew up in an ultra conservative church. The judgment of God and striving for perfection were a big part of the teaching. Love was there, too. Jesus loved the little children--and my Sunday school teacher stressed He especially loved the GOOD little children.

 The Pharisees decided if a tailor happened to have a needle stuck through his cloak and went to Temple on the Sabbath, he was sinning because he was carrying a tool of his trade, thus working.                                                                Sinning is missing the mark, being outside the will of God.

Thread it all together.
If I did something wrong, I was out of communion with God--and if I died at that moment, would I go to heaven? Was my salvation at risk, constantly hanging in the balance if I were to be caught with a "needle"?

      Years of Bible study, life experience, shifting to another church..... they have all changed my relationship with the Lord.
Yet sometimes the past sneaks up and catches us all off guard. I've found whenever I have a knee-jerk reaction, it's probably a sign I need to think about what's behind it.
 That twist of phrase sent me twisting into meditation.
          And I decided the thought thrills me.
Jesus knows me. He knew about the "needles" when He knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane.
And He went to the cross.
He knows the best of me, the worst of me. He knows me better than I know myself. And still He loves me.
I am flawed, but I am His.
and I can say with infinite joy,
Jesus knows me, this I love!

Don't you love that He knows you, too?
                                   Hugs and hopes for you, Cathy